She deemed it a life-altering time, saw some amazing sights, heard some amazing stories and experienced some incredible things – but her one regret from her year of travelling is that she didn’t take anyone with her. She had no one to share everything with. Only the other week I was out at one of London’s most exclusive bars, sipping on an impossibly-named cocktail and I suddenly wished that one of my friends could do this whole scene with me, wanted to experience all these modern landmarks of London that get featured not in a London guide or history books, but make their very own history in Victoria Newton’s Bizarre pages, and provide the setting for many of the gossip pages of celeb mags and red-tops alike.
The only thing is that none of my friends are like me, which is rather fortunate really! They’re all fabulous, the most special friends a girl could wish for and the fact that we’re so different is what makes us work. I believe this is the secret recipe to have been friends for so many, many years. However when I think about who would be able to join me on this crazy adventure of clubs, celebs, men and London society I can’t think of one. They all have such different priorities and my one seriously party-loving gal pal has recently become a teacher which takes up her energy, thoughts and time.
I talked to my sister about it and made a wish for a Sugar Baby Buddy to join me on my adventure. Someone who would appreciate the places we were going, understand the protocol and be happy staying out as late as we wanted with whoever we wanted wearing our skirts short and our heels high! Where on earth was I going to find a girl just like that? Just like me, who wanted the same things? Right in front of me of course, the sort of girl who too would go out with a Sugar Daddy, with My Fairy God Father in fact! Saskia!Although I originally thought her stuck up and a little bichy, like all bitches she’s great fun and up for all the same things as I am. She asked for my number on the night we met and we’ve been texting ever since. She asked me out one night last week – her friend who’s a model was making a tv show about model lifestyles and partying in London – free drinks would be supplied at Umbaba, was I up for it? Was I ever!
The night was last Thursday, we had planned our outfits (both short dresses, the more
revealing the better was the rule) and sky high heels! I relished in wearing my highest gold and black peeptoes with black ribbon tied in a bow round the ankle. They had barely made it out the box in the past before being deemed too dressy or too high. You see, back in Essex my friends have a trend of wearing flat pumps out to clubs, I do refuse to do this, even though I am the tallest of my friends by at least a head. So of course it’s more or less logistically impossible to go out wearing my favourite skyscrapers. Thankfully Saskia’s a model which means she’s as tall as me and is fond of a heel or two. So I can safely go out in her company without her looking like my rather well-developed child.
Umbaba was great, and we soon secured a guy to pay for everything we wanted in there. He was sweet-looking and an absolute dead-ringer for Steve-o from Jackass, only older. I noticed, (as I always look now) that he had a wedding ring on. That’s fine, it’s his life, but when he went to the bathrooms and returned without it on I grew a little suspicious of him. I don’t like men doing that. If you want a mistress then be up front about it – don’t sneak around with a little band of white skin on your finger that you think no one has noticed. I mean, come on I am blonde, but I’m not stupid, dumbass!One hour, 5 sex on the beach cocktails, and too many sex on the beach innuendos later Saskia and I decide to join Fairy God Father, his brother, his friend (the editor) and FGF’s annoyingly naive ‘girlfriend’ in Pangaea. They picked us up and somehow all four of us squashed in the back of his usually impossibly spacious Range Rover while ‘the girlfriend’ swanned around in comfort in the front seat. Grrr. Saskia and I were ready to party! It was at this point I decided it would be a good idea to have a competition with her to see who could get the most free drinks. Hmm.. a seemingly pointless game seeing as FGF had a table with waitresses so everything was paid for anyway. Kind of reminds me of celebrities playing TV gameshows with cash prizes. They already have all the cash, they give this lot to charity - but it's still fun seeing what you can get though!
During one of our circuits round the club we met a guy with a vodka table!! Bottles of vodka and mixers lined up with a bucket of ice - my idea of heaven! He invited us to stay and party with them for a little while and to help ourselves to drinks. I fear from here on in I do go decidedly downhill. I have no self-control where free alcohol is concerned, I feel like I must drink as much as I can for the sake of all the times when I was younger where I have had to pay for it myself. I am doing it for my inner-geek. The girl I was at school who never would have got free drinks! You could say that I'm making up for lost time.
By 4AM I find myself back at the table, kissing a rather hot black guy who is calling me his wife, with yet another mysterious drink in my hand, Saskia is dancing with the freakiest little guy I have ever seen (she was one of the girls dancing in the Freddy Le Grand video - how cool?) and FGF is almost passed out on the couches. Steve-o from Umbaba is there too... it's all a little strange. I decide there and then I have to leave. I am going to be sick and I will be darned if all my weeks of hard work, socialising, partying and portraying this perfect 'sugar baby' image are going to be destroyed with one shocking and very public regurgitation.
I grab FGF's brother who is staying in one of the rooms at the apartment and Saskia, make our
apologies to the others and head off home in the lurchiest/speediest car I have ever ridden in. Thank God clubs like Pangaea have valet and their own drivers and cars on call right away, for not even a minute after my head hit the pillow was I up seeing my once-tasty cocktails again, only this time they weren't so tasty.My last waking thought was - "Oh crap, I have to be in work in four hours...."
1 comment:
I think ur gr8 sexy and amazin i wish i had a body like that!
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