Googling - along with 'the wheel' is possibly one of the best inventions known to womankind. And no, I'm not talking about for when you need to research a past King of Lebanon or how to get rid of fleas - I am talking about Man-Googling!
For any savvy girl about town these days Google is her ultimate weapon in the dating field - that is of course, if your man's Googlable*.
*Lots of girls these days rate a man's worth by their googlability. If you tap in your beloved's name and nothing comes up - what does that tell you? If he's not worth anyone writing about he's not worth sleeping with. (apparantly)
After meeting The Footballer there was so little I knew about him, and sooo much I wanted to learn! I found Google - my guiding light in what some may describe as the path to stalkerdom. As I typed his name into the little box an information super-store popped up with everything I
could ever wish to know - and more! I revelled for hours (in the office, I'm not that sad to do it at home!) in pages and pages dedicated to him, and soon found out his career history, middle name - even his height and weight! Every kick, every match and every goal - all recorded right before my eyes! I soon discovered the delights of Google images and Google news - updated with new stories about your man in question every single minute.
The problem with every great invention such as Google is that it is slightly addictive - and it's just not natural. With your average guy you meet down the pub you can be on even ground with each other - you go out on dates and get to know each other slowly and equally. What's happened with The Footballer and I is I have found a massive chocolate cake of information about him - I couldn't help myself and I have gorged the lot. I feel sick and now I know everything about him I feel like a fake.
How can you act like a ...... (I hate to use this word) a fan (shudder) and yes, maybe sign up for a Google alert so everytime a new story about him is published a little message pops up in your inbox telling you so. Maybe you even type his name into.... eBay? Anyway I'm digressing - the point is - how can you obsess over him like a fan obsesses over a celebrity but still act normal with him in real life? It's nigh on IMPOSSIBLE! So what do I give up? The Google addiction or The Footballer? I can't have both - yet when I can't have The Footballer I seek solace in the Google findings - without it I would be lost.
Top 10 Wrong Things I Have Done On The Internet Since Meeting The Footballer:
(just to confirm - I AM ashamed of these - alot.)
1. Googled him to death - found out every statistic and report written on him.
2. Signed up to Google alerts so I get my 9am fix of The Footballer.
3. Drooled over Google images of him for several hours.
4. Researched Google news stories and found out some dodgy secrets and a somewhat shady past.
5. Put his name into eBay and looked at all the stuff you can buy to do with him... if some happened to slip into my shopping basket blame my dodgy mouse, not me!
I will begin to practise self-restraint in order to preserve my relationship with The Footballer - it's the only way forward. It's like a sugar rush - you think you always need it but as soon as you cut out those Aeoros for just a day - you find you don't need it anymore - and don't you feel a whole lot better!?!
For any savvy girl about town these days Google is her ultimate weapon in the dating field - that is of course, if your man's Googlable*.
*Lots of girls these days rate a man's worth by their googlability. If you tap in your beloved's name and nothing comes up - what does that tell you? If he's not worth anyone writing about he's not worth sleeping with. (apparantly)
After meeting The Footballer there was so little I knew about him, and sooo much I wanted to learn! I found Google - my guiding light in what some may describe as the path to stalkerdom. As I typed his name into the little box an information super-store popped up with everything I
could ever wish to know - and more! I revelled for hours (in the office, I'm not that sad to do it at home!) in pages and pages dedicated to him, and soon found out his career history, middle name - even his height and weight! Every kick, every match and every goal - all recorded right before my eyes! I soon discovered the delights of Google images and Google news - updated with new stories about your man in question every single minute.The problem with every great invention such as Google is that it is slightly addictive - and it's just not natural. With your average guy you meet down the pub you can be on even ground with each other - you go out on dates and get to know each other slowly and equally. What's happened with The Footballer and I is I have found a massive chocolate cake of information about him - I couldn't help myself and I have gorged the lot. I feel sick and now I know everything about him I feel like a fake.
How can you act like a ...... (I hate to use this word) a fan (shudder) and yes, maybe sign up for a Google alert so everytime a new story about him is published a little message pops up in your inbox telling you so. Maybe you even type his name into.... eBay? Anyway I'm digressing - the point is - how can you obsess over him like a fan obsesses over a celebrity but still act normal with him in real life? It's nigh on IMPOSSIBLE! So what do I give up? The Google addiction or The Footballer? I can't have both - yet when I can't have The Footballer I seek solace in the Google findings - without it I would be lost.
Top 10 Wrong Things I Have Done On The Internet Since Meeting The Footballer:
(just to confirm - I AM ashamed of these - alot.)
1. Googled him to death - found out every statistic and report written on him.
2. Signed up to Google alerts so I get my 9am fix of The Footballer.
3. Drooled over Google images of him for several hours.
4. Researched Google news stories and found out some dodgy secrets and a somewhat shady past.
5. Put his name into eBay and looked at all the stuff you can buy to do with him... if some happened to slip into my shopping basket blame my dodgy mouse, not me!
I will begin to practise self-restraint in order to preserve my relationship with The Footballer - it's the only way forward. It's like a sugar rush - you think you always need it but as soon as you cut out those Aeoros for just a day - you find you don't need it anymore - and don't you feel a whole lot better!?!
2 comments:
Hi,
I write for London Lite newspaper and we have a Top blog spot. Various people have written in to recommend your brilliant blog for publication, but I first need to get your permission. We would only use your web identity, not your real name. Please contact me on deborah.arthurs@standard.co.uk to let me know if you are happy to let us print some entries. Look forward to hearing from you.
Please publish this girl's work - I read London Lite every day and this would be a fab addition! I read this blog religiously and she is just like me! Well done EGIL!
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