The Final Chapter

The day was Friday 23rd February and my pilgrimage to Newcastle began promptly at 9:00am. I left so early thinking I could have a nice rest at the hotel when I got there then maybe do some shopping before seeing The Footballer. Oooooh no. I get stuck in hours of traffic, go wrong (yes, even with the aid of satnav) and arrive tired, shakey and in a cold sweat in the overcrowded, rather rowdy reception of Newcastle Central Travelodge.

Never mind - all was well (and rather surreal) - this is what I had waited for so longingly for several months. I was going to see my Footballer again! My excitement was tinged with sadness at the thought of the real reason for my coming here. Although he didn't know it, this would be the last time I would see him. After all, when the story breaks out in the Sunday paper he won't be speaking to me again...

I get inside my room and promptly have an accident with a packet of crisps (dinner) resulting in salt and vinegar walkers being sprayed all over my floor, bed and the inside of my bag! Basically anywhere but my mouth. I start getting ready with the vigour of someone about to complete a marathon. The bath is run, legs are shaved, make up applied, hair straightened. Body is moisturised, adding a tiny bit of Sunshimmer for a faint glow - after all those bright Travelodge lights are pretty harsh on mid-winter skin!

And I'm done! I decide to go for my classic uniform of a little white vest and jeans - my must-haves for when meeting a boy for the first time (ever, or in ages) indoors. I find it gives a simple and carefree look whilst making you look tanned and skinny! Underneath my clothes I had on a devastatingly gorgeous underwear set - all black ribbon and bows. He had better darn appreciate this!

As I sat on the bed checking my phone and half-heartedly watching channel 4 I started to get nervous. Really, really nervous. But before I had time to think he was here. I went out to the reception to meet him and there he was. And you know what? Nothing happened. I don't know what I was expecting but it was somewhere along the lines of an extravaggant fireworks display, or rays of sunshine beaming down on us from heaven, or maybe for a really catchy theme tune to play when we met, and for everyone in the room to see just how much we are just MEAN'T to be together! But... nothing. We said hi and quickly headed to my room before even more of the rowdy crowd recognised him, I was particularly worried about a large hen night group who looked like they had met at Fat Fighters.

Once we got in the room we had barely exchanged pleasantries before we were ripping each other's clothes off. He told me how long he had been waiting for this (as if I didn't know!) and I couldn't help retorting that it was his fault that it had been so long.

In between amazingly good sex sessions of which there were SIX we lulled into comfortable conversation. This, we most definately didn't have before. I guess that's becuase we've spoken so much over the last year, and he feels he can trust me more. This made what I was about to do with the papers make me feel even more terrible. Trying to explain the situation and how it was out of my hands though would have been futile. He would never have believed me and I would just ruin the precious little time with him I had left.

About 5 hours later and he was gone. As he dressed and got ready to go we hugged for what seemed forever. It wasn't even a sexual thing - it was just nice. Comforting. He walked out the door and I waited for a sense of terror to come over me................ but it never came. I thought I would be running after him down the hall begging him to stay, to be with me, ME!!! Whilst simultaneously calling the newspaper and demanding they drop the story - NOW! But - I didn't. Instead I laid back on my bed (on his side I do admit) basking in the warm glow he had left me with, thanks to his lovely, sweet personality and amazing sex. Hundreds of thoughts were whirring through my mind - but none were of sadness or regret.

This feeling, THIS feeling is what I had come all the way here for. He has gone from the pedastal I had placed him so highly on inn my heart and in my mind. Finally I realised - he's just a man. Before, no one could measure up to him, and okay... so physically - they still can't if you know what I mean - ha ha! But I'm not talking about that. Now I can actually see his flaws and see that I am .... oh my God I'm going to say it: I'm truly OVER HIM.

If you had to name years of your life like chapters of a book this year would most definately have to be the 'The ***** ******* Year'.

I wonder what next year's will be...