30. Goodbye 2006

2006 is over. Not over as in - oh my goodness, 2006 was soo last week - as in it's actually ended. Christmas came and went finding me laid up in hospital after one particularly heavy night in Umbaba, and so I subsequently found myself spending Christmas Eve rather quietly in a local pub with some friends, J2O in one hand, car keys in the other. I also went to midnight mass which was suprisingly entertaining.

We have a famous (or should that be notorious) vicar where I live who is simply fabulous. He makes listening to a sermon like watching an episode of Graham Norton. Earlier in the year he'd fled to his home country after being (wrongly) accused of crimes against children and this christmas everyone was out in force welcoming him back with open arms (and bibles.)

My sister also finally moved out with Peck to Lincolnshire. I wasn't actually there the day of the move as I was being subjected to slave-like working hours in that period between Christmas and New Year. Out of principle, and rather in keeping with the festive spirit I decided against doing any actual work and dedicated the whole three days to eating anything within arm's reach and creating the most wonderful myspace page. What a great invention that site is! I spent hours amusing myself setting up slideshows of pictures of me and my friends I had found lying around on various club sites and creating little glittery banners. I revelled in each new 'friend' I added to my list - I now have something like 87. (beat that Tila Tequila!)

New Year's Eve was fast approaching and I was feeling somewhat sentimental about the last 12 months - not wanting it to end. 2006 has been a great year for me - it's the year I think I will look back on when I'm old and think - that was fantastic! I had a boob job, changed my day job, dated a premiership footballer, had a sugar daddy, was part of a harem, went to Madrid, Ibiza, Cyprus and Newcastle, lived in a multi-million-pound apartment on Park Lane, made the papers, turned 21, passed my driving test, learnt to pole dance, went skinny dipping, met Paris Hilton, went speed dating, had a threesome, (not a result of the speed dating) and so much more! I will be sad to let it go - and just hope that 2007 promises much of the same!

Things with the London situation have somewhat shifted... I wanted so much to keep things with Carlton (the events organising guy who I stay with) platonic. After all - he wasn't my type, and what with me staying at his house I didn't want things to ever become weird. It did. Not long after the first outing we realised our attraction for each other that saw us throwing away our promises of friendship for something altogether more fun. We now have 'fun' together about 8 or 9 times every time I see him - something that has caused a storm in my brain and a bout of cystitis - aaah how romantic! One can't expect, however to have hours upon hours of crazy sex and not suffer the consequences. And suffer I did. However a couple of pints of cranberry juice later and I was as right as rain!

He asked me to stay there New Year's Eve and I didn't particularly fancy getting a tube all the way back home anyway so I went out that morning bought sat nav for my car and set off for London. Despite taking several wrong turns including one onto Tower Bridge with my sat nav ordering me to "Make A U Turn!" and me screaming - "I can't, I can't!" I made it from door to ddor in 45 minutes and roughly in one piece.

I was meeting my friends from college in OnAnon that night but there was the business of getting ready to attend to first! I had decided upon that night to wear a short brown dress with matching metallic brown high heels (thanks Mum!) and long gold beads. As usual with Carlton I got dressed then undressed about four times before I could finally get out the door!

A lovely girl called Lauren who had experienced similar sat nav problems on the way down was staying the night too and we both went into town with Carlton, his brother and his slightly suspicious girlfriend.

They were headed off to The Penthouse where I would meet them later but for now I had a date with my girlies in OnAnon. Unfortunately OnAnon went on and on and on..... Now I remember why I hate new year's. It was sooooo busy!! WHY they let so many people in I will never know!

5, 4, 3, 2, 1 - Happy New Year etc... etc... etc... At 2am I met Carlton and went into Penthouse where he insisted, despite me almost being asleep standing up on staying until 6AM!!!! Yes, 6am! We only left then because it CLOSED. Jeez. We grabbed a rickshaw back to the car which was the most fun I had had all night. Watching the little Polish guy's spindly little legs struggling away to carry our fat asses down the road was strangely satisfying.

We met Lauren and Carlton at the car and us three girls sat in the back (Lauren to the left, strange girlfriend of brother in the middle then me) and this is where it gets weird... I had suspected at some point during the night that she might be a lesbian - don't ask me why. Maybe it was the dirty dancing she had done with that suprised-looking woman in the corner or the way she insisted on touching some part of your body when she talks to you. But I was nervous. It wasn't long before, in Hugh Hefner style she had her arm looped through mine whilst simultaneously rubbing the side of my boob (yes, my boob!) and on the other her hand was working it way up poor Lauren's leg. In the extremely quiet confines of the car and with her boyfriend and Carlton only centimeters away I found myself getting very uneasy. What do you say? Being fondled simulteously with another stranger in the back of a car by a rampant lesbian is not something my DeBrett's book covered. I tried not to squirm or visibly move away from her hand, whilst also trying to look like I wasn't encouraging it. I forced myself to look out of the window at the pretty lights and pleaded with myself not to laugh. I always have an uncontrollable urge to laugh in these sorts of situations.

Finally we arrived back at Notting Hill and with a unnecessarily lingering cheek kiss we left them and went to bed! Finally! Hello 2007!