Real dating doesn't work. Well, it does work but it's outdated and dragged out. 
It's like regular shopping, you trawl the shops in the rain and wind, laden down with baggage until you settle for some half-baked dress because you're fed up of the crowds and the queues! Internet shopping (and now internet dating) has revolutionised many of our lives and now we can shop from the comfort and convenience of our home or office. With the click of a button hundreds of men appear before your very eyes, and what in the real world could take a couple of weeks, several dates and a few grey hairs later to find out is neatly laid out before you - before you've even met! For me the most important factors undoubtedly are:
Age: Got to be between 23 and 32 - anything under is juvenile and anything over is juvenile with wrinkles and erectile problems.
Occupation: Got to be passionate and successful in the business place, is one of the most attractive things about men. Fact.
Height: For me, the taller the better. I want to be able to go out out on the town with my 33" legs in HEELS without feeling like Lurch dwarfing a poor little Hobbit.
For me, a modern 21st century girl this is the perfect, time-saving answer to all my man problems! I can man-shop from work or home without spending a penny and saving coutless evenings on dead-end dates with Dull Dudley from Dullsville.
So what's got me thinking about (whisper) internet dating then? Well, as always my inspiration came from my elder sister. Not even a year ago she was diagnosed terminally single. She split up from a rushed, entirely inappropriate engagement to a loser and ended up on the shelf. Literally. She saw many, many guys of all calibre but none were right. She tried everything - and I mean EVERYTHING. Here she was, 25, single, beautiful, fashionable with her own successful PR business and everything going for her - so there was only one thing left to try. Dating Direct.
Fast forward 6 months, 126 emails and 7 dates later and she has not only met the man of her
dreams, but is moving in with him by christmas and planning on getting married! The man in question, Peck - owns his own house with large grounds, a villa in Mallorca, an international company of which he is Managing Director and a brand new Porsche. Need I say any more? Maybe not but I will.
Not only that but they get on in a way that makes everyone else disappear and only they truly exist in their own little world. She is blissfully happy and how can I tell? Well the classic signs of
course, the lingerie-buying, the rejoining of the gym and the harsh gritty sound of vigirous body brushing every night before bed. But most of all? The inability to see an imperfection in this man. This cyber-man - nothing but a digital page that made up a vast book of men only a few months ago has managed to get my sister - the original and self-confessed Essex Girl to move to a village in Lincolnshire so quiet no one knows it exists, thousands of miles away from home.
I wanna get me some of that (well not the little village thing thanks - I am loving my Essex/London lifestyle a little too much to hide myself away in a bush) and so I have followed in her footsteps and joined a dating site. I need to add a picture and rewrite my profile as I sound like a div, but soon dates-a-plenty will be mine!
It's like regular shopping, you trawl the shops in the rain and wind, laden down with baggage until you settle for some half-baked dress because you're fed up of the crowds and the queues! Internet shopping (and now internet dating) has revolutionised many of our lives and now we can shop from the comfort and convenience of our home or office. With the click of a button hundreds of men appear before your very eyes, and what in the real world could take a couple of weeks, several dates and a few grey hairs later to find out is neatly laid out before you - before you've even met! For me the most important factors undoubtedly are:Age: Got to be between 23 and 32 - anything under is juvenile and anything over is juvenile with wrinkles and erectile problems.
Occupation: Got to be passionate and successful in the business place, is one of the most attractive things about men. Fact.
Height: For me, the taller the better. I want to be able to go out out on the town with my 33" legs in HEELS without feeling like Lurch dwarfing a poor little Hobbit.
For me, a modern 21st century girl this is the perfect, time-saving answer to all my man problems! I can man-shop from work or home without spending a penny and saving coutless evenings on dead-end dates with Dull Dudley from Dullsville.
So what's got me thinking about (whisper) internet dating then? Well, as always my inspiration came from my elder sister. Not even a year ago she was diagnosed terminally single. She split up from a rushed, entirely inappropriate engagement to a loser and ended up on the shelf. Literally. She saw many, many guys of all calibre but none were right. She tried everything - and I mean EVERYTHING. Here she was, 25, single, beautiful, fashionable with her own successful PR business and everything going for her - so there was only one thing left to try. Dating Direct.
Fast forward 6 months, 126 emails and 7 dates later and she has not only met the man of her
dreams, but is moving in with him by christmas and planning on getting married! The man in question, Peck - owns his own house with large grounds, a villa in Mallorca, an international company of which he is Managing Director and a brand new Porsche. Need I say any more? Maybe not but I will.Not only that but they get on in a way that makes everyone else disappear and only they truly exist in their own little world. She is blissfully happy and how can I tell? Well the classic signs of
course, the lingerie-buying, the rejoining of the gym and the harsh gritty sound of vigirous body brushing every night before bed. But most of all? The inability to see an imperfection in this man. This cyber-man - nothing but a digital page that made up a vast book of men only a few months ago has managed to get my sister - the original and self-confessed Essex Girl to move to a village in Lincolnshire so quiet no one knows it exists, thousands of miles away from home.
I wanna get me some of that (well not the little village thing thanks - I am loving my Essex/London lifestyle a little too much to hide myself away in a bush) and so I have followed in her footsteps and joined a dating site. I need to add a picture and rewrite my profile as I sound like a div, but soon dates-a-plenty will be mine!
2 comments:
Hey, Just to say that i found your BLOG through the "one Day in History" project. As an Essex boy from near Southend am loving your work ;-) Although i would have to disagree about TALK being a good club . . . but saying that the last time i went it was called TOTS ! Looking forward to your next installment. c
Hey, I am so glad you found it - I didn't think that anyone would actually read that one day in history thing! I beg to differ with regards to Talk - it's the best place in town!
Thanks for reading
E G I L
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